We try and hold the images of our departed in our minds, paranoid about losing the smallest details. We look at photos, tip the top part of the whisky bottle in their honour, maybe light a candle near their photograph. We remember how they smelt, how they laughed. That nasty fight we had where terrible things were said. Perhaps we name something after them or get their names tattooed on us. We run marathons or start charities in their name. We whisper goodnight to them before bed, and hate ourselves for forgetting their birthdays.
All the things we do and think while grieving are about not wanting to let go of what was and is no more.
As much energy as we put into building and sustaining it, the memory castle in our minds can never be solid enough for the living.
I’m not telling anyone how to grieve.
Everyone has to chose how much they want to try to hold on to the air.
I’ll miss you every day Hoshi.